Think back to the last time you had a disagreement with someone. How did you respond? Are you happy with your response? Is there anything you would change? Chance are there is. You may have reacted instead of responding created more chaos then there shuld have been. 

You need to be able to understand the difference between responding vs. reacting to be able to change your ways. When we react in a quick unthought out way, we raise our voice, we are frustrated, upset or angry. It’s a defense mechanism that could be used out of fear or insecurities. When we are triggered we tend to act in a way that we can later regret. 

When you respond, its a more calm approach. You take a moment to pause and be in the moment before you respond. It’s having a clear sense of self awareness. 

“When you repsond, it’s a more calm approach”

It’s always important to be prepared for situations so you can begin to shift your mindset with the situations that trigger a reaction response for you.  Below are some tips:

  • Try To Avoid Trigger. The first things is to know what your triggers are that carry high emotions. Avoiding these triggers will help your internal response.
  • Modify The Situation. If you can’t avoid the trigger, is there a way for you to modify the situation so it’s not so reactive for you. If it’s someone else that triggers you, think about if there is a way when you have those thoughts, to bring the focus onto yourself instead of them. 
  •  Change Your Thoughts. This is where perspective comes into play. Changing you perspective does not change the outcome or situation but it does change your thoughts and gets you to view the otherside of it so it’s no longer a trigger. 
  •  Take A Deep Breath. Taking a moment before responding gives you time to understand. To really look at what is going on. You can ask yourself how you want to respond to this.

Now, lets talk about the major tip I give all my clients to help them with responding. It goes along with expections. Having the same response eachtime. The more you respond the same time everytime, the more that person will expect your response and over time will change their actions or leave you alone. Next, it’s about you. When you have the same resposne eachtime, it’s setting expectations for yourself with how you will respond. For instance, if you were struggling with someone you work with, over and over again and you find yourself constantly reacting. Come up with a phrase that is something you saw in response. Like “it’s too bad you feel that way” and everytime that person triggers you and looks for a reaction, that is your phrase you say. Over time that person will move on knowing that you will have the same response everytime. 

Always Here to Support You,

Christine